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In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so that men and women could live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created ‘Moevenpick’ and ‘Bahlsen’ biscuits. And asked: ‘A few hot cherries with your ice cream?’ And the man replied, ‘Please’ and the woman added, ‘And a hot waffle with whipped cream, please.’ And so they each gained 5 kilos. -
And God created yoghurt to help the woman maintain her figure, which the man loved so much.
And Satan brought the white flour from the wheat and the sugar from the sugar cane and combined them. And the woman changed from a size 14 to a size 18.
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So God said: ‘Why don't you try my fresh garden salad?’
And the devil created the cream dressing and garlic toast as a side dish. And the men and women opened their belts by at least one hole after eating it. -
But God proclaimed: ‘I gave you fresh vegetables and olive oil to cook them in.
And the devil contributed small bries and camemberts, lobster pieces in butter and chicken breast fillets, for which you almost needed a second plate. And people's cholesterol levels went through the roof. -
So God brought running shoes so that his children could lose a few pounds.
And the devil created cable TV with remote control so that man would not have to bother with switching. And men and women cried and laughed in front of the flickering screen and began to dress in stretch jogging suits. -
Then God created the potato, low in fat and bursting with potassium and valuable nutrients.
And the devil removed the healthy skin and cut the inside into chips, which he fried in animal fat and sprinkled with loads of salt. And man gained a few more pounds. -
Then God created lean meat so that his children would have to consume fewer calories to still feel full.
And the devil created McDonald's and the cheeseburger for 99 cents. Then Lucifer asked: ‘Fries on the side?’ And man said: ‘Sure – an extra-large portion with mayo!’ And the devil said, ‘It is good.’ And man suffered a heart attack. -
God sighed and created four-fold heart bypass surgery.
And the devil invented public health insurance.
